Jann’s Jottings #14
Jann’s Jottings # 14
“The most practical pages for perusal on the web”
Jotting (defn): short details of significant events, behaviours and conversations about wellbeing, growth, and career.
Wellbeing Jot: Put your heart into your part
Not everyone can be the leader and sometimes our roles are one of support even when we have much higher aspirations. Next time you are experiencing this frustration stop and think about how you can put your heart into your part. Are you giving it everything or are you holding out? Using your particular strengths and talents in every situation with kindness, gratitude and dignity will give you a much better feeling of wellbeing than being lukewarm or feeble in your efforts and you will be appreciated so much more.
“Doing a kindness produces the single most reliable increase in momentary wellbeing than any other exercise we have tested.” Martin Seligman (Author of Flourish and Authentic Happiness)
Ponder this: How can I put more of my heart into my part in my areas of influence?
Growth Jot: Self-doubt
We have all felt self-doubt as it is a natural human reaction. Self-doubt serves us when we may be facing a situation that is too dangerous or unwise to engage in. However, when self-doubt holds us back, keeps us playing small, not following our dreams or keeping us stuck in an unhealthy workplace or relationship, then it is time to permit ourselves to speak up, make the change we know is best and show courage.
Self-doubt is really about worrying what others will think of us, how we may look foolish or even failing completely. It is the result of not believing in ourselves enough and the good news is it is temporary. Stewing in negative thoughts perpetuates self-doubt so catch yourself when you are ruminating and be intentional about thinking of your potential, your previous actions and those experiences that have already set you up for the next step you want to take.
I find this wisdom a useful reminder:
“Where attention goes, energy flows and results show.” T. Harv Eker.
“Step out of the history that is holding you back. Step into the new story you are willing to create”. Oprah Winfrey
Do you notice that a step of courage (action) is required to put self-doubt behind us? It is uncomfortable and challenging, but growth is happening and that is a good thing. You can succeed in spite of your self-doubt. And remember self-doubt can also help us know when we need to ask for help, fill in a skill gap or revise our thinking.
Ponder this: If I gave myself permission to be courageous and imperfect what would I do?
Career Jot: Confidence is…
Many of us seek to be more confident in work situations. This quote piqued my interest.
“Confidence is equality” (Colin James – Executive coach)
Colin James’ premise is that when we hold the mindset that no-one is better than me and no-one is worse than me, it enables us to enter a conversation/meeting/negotiation with compassion and curiosity on an equal footing with the other. Seeing confidence in this way acknowledges the competence and experience that each person brings. In other words, we value and respect ourselves and the other.
Adam Grant presents research on a concept he calls Confident humility. He defines confident humility as having faith in our capability and competence whilst also appreciating that we may not have all the answers, the ability to re-examine our old knowledge and enough confidence to pursue new insights. He suggests that some doubt is useful in preventing us from sliding into blind arrogance.
Grant concludes that this doubt, often termed Imposter Syndrome has three benefits:
It can motivate us to work harder.
It can motivate us to work smarter.
It can make us better learners.
We can grow and achieve challenging goals, using our doubts as a tool, whilst building our confidence through achieving challenging goals.
Next time you are going into a difficult conversation, remember confident humility and that you are equal to the other. I’d love to hear how that goes for you!
Read More; Grant, A. (2021) Think Again: The power of knowing what you don’t know. Penguin Random House UK. Chapter 2
“You are loved, valued and worthy. Keep up the great work!”
